Father Hunger: Why God Calls Men to Love and Lead Their Families By Douglas Wilson

This book was provided to me by Thomas Nelson Publishing (Booksneeze) to review. I found it difficult to work through. I have had it for a while trying to read. I found myself not always agreeing with the tone used. Father Hunger, I found not always helpful to me as a father trying to be and do what is right in raising up my children. I took offense to the male superiority language. Although, not stated I heard that we aren’t “getting our way” as men of God and we should take back fatherhood. I would’ve appreciated more the approach that we should be seeking more of a life of humility and brokenness. We have failed and we need help from God, plain and simple. Instead, retaliation against culture and feminism all around us crowded out any encouragement for me to be who I need to be.

I don’t think we can make simple excuses such as it is the result of feminism of why we aren’t being who we need to be as fathers. If anything, I have been challenged by the women in my life to be the man of God I need to be. I want my children to see their mother and the women of God He places in their lives, whether school teachers, other moms, and family members and friends, as ones leading them to be who God desires them to be. This is an opportunity that has been placed before each of us, men and women alike, to be there for our children.

I did agree with Douglas Wilson, the author, when he states, “The right kind of surrender means that we will be open to God’s timing. When God delays our ambitions, it is not because He is saying no, but because those delays help shape who we are becoming.” I as a father have failed in many respects with this. It is nobody’s fault except my own. A daily surrender to God’s work in my life enables my kids to see how much I truly trust in God and am living for Him. Honestly, I can blame all of society’s problems concerning the family on the culture, feminism, the church or its pastor, the educational system, the government, or even my own parents, yet what needs to happen is that I daily step up and be a person who cares more about others than about myself.

Men, we need to embrace our role of fatherhood wholeheartedly and “pick it up and put it on, like a coat (199).” Let it become a part of you. Yes, it is scary and might even feel awkward at times causing us to fall down at times. But, stop making excuses and begin to believe and live for this great opportunity we have been created!

Leadership Lessons for a Thriving Ministry

Leadership Lessons for a Thriving Ministry

Greater: Dream Bigger, Start Smaller, Ignite God's Vision for Your Life By Steven Furtick

This book was received from Multnomah Books to review. Stylistically it is very similar to Craig Groschel’s works. Very sarcastic at times and sometimes taking the reader on a brief tangent. I even wondered if it was a generational thing that bothered me but I’m about the same age as the author. But overall, I enjoyed this book which examines the life of Elisha and his calling and ministry.

It is a Christian living book that will challenge new believers especially. I was excited to read a work on the life of Elisha who is one of my favorite men of faith of the OT. For the long-time believer, this work will challenges you not to settle and remembered your first calling.

I was deeply moved by the statement, “Pursuing God’s purpose can be exhilarating. It can also be terrifying. If you want to live surrounded by God’s miracles, you have to come to terms with the fact that you’ll always be surrounded by enemies. You’ll often be amazed at what God can do through you (167).” I encourage everyone to read this but especially those who are embarking on this journey of faith in Jesus Christ. He has called each of us to live GREATER lives than we realized. It is time we receive it with open arms and hearts. Also, A bonus I found with GREATER was the discussion guide in the back of the book. I always find it helpful to facilitate discussion in a small group setting with some suggested questions to start off with.

Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll

Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship & Life Together was an interesting read. I hadn't heard too many favorable reviews by some of my colleagues so I was a bit skeptical. However, I found it surprisingly good. I was impressed by the openness of Mark and Grace's relationship. You can tell they are still working on things. I don't 100% buy into everything they shared, especially the manly approach to leading a marriage that Mark is very open about, but I agree there has to be someone stepping up and saying this is wrong or this is what we need to do. Our culture of manly leadership is very authoritative and not very servant like. Marriage is a special relationship that has been established by God between a man and a woman to best relate to our Creator. Our God humbled Himself to serve the least of these and likewise we should be willing to do the same for our spouses whether we are the husband or the wife.

I was blown away by the diversity of marriage and sexual counseling that Mark and Grace have encountered. I've been doing premarital counseling for years and haven't even come close to their experiences. It truly demonstrates the secular culture and ministry environment they are dealing with in the Seattle area.

I was most impressed however in the thoroughness of research and honesty concerning contraceptives. This is something I don't often approach with couples, but found myself convicted to share truths behind them. I know for myself even though my wife and I have been around the medical profession for years we hadn't even thought of some of the things highlighted. We've had three miscarriages in our seventeen years of marriage. We have come to believe as a result of the type of  birth control we were using it help cause the baby to not be viable in the womb. I've come to realize more and more there is so much we don't understand that we are doing to our bodies simply because people have told us it is okay to do. I wonder what people use to tell each other back in the '30 or '40's concerning smoking? Many of the people who are telling us it is okay to use certain types of birth control are ones we should be able to trust such as doctors, friends, parents, and even pastors. This is an area of marriage where many couples must become better informed.

Because of this opportunity to review this book for Book Sneeze from Thomas Nelson Publishing, I feel like there is one more pastor who has been corrected and better informed. Real marriages are hard work! It is so much easier to just walk out and move onto another relationship. Yet the most satisfying marriages are real ones! They understand it is more than about "me". It is all about "us"! Mark and Grace, I believe, come to that point at the end of this book as they highlight the most important day of your marriage as the last day not the first. As they say, we need to reverse-engineer our lives and marriages. "The big idea is to anticipate life forward and live it backward (208)." This insight will revolutionize so many marriages if it really sinks in. Nobody ever seeks out to get a divorce on their wedding day. Yet for many it still happens. Examining our marriages from the last day till the present will cause you and me to make the adjustments necessary to get the outcome we desire no matter the situations or heartaches which will happen along the way. You are in this marriage together with your spouse. Consequently, you must work at it together!

Soul Print by Mark Batterson

Soul Print: Discovering Your Divine Destiny by Mark Batterson was an excellent read. I found it helpful in reflection and study for a few messages I was doing on the life of David. Mark is one of my favorite contemporary pastors/ authors. I found his take on the life of David to be refreshing and insightful. His perspective on each of us having a dual destiny was quite encouraging. Most Christian books would rather simplistically encourage us to make our ultimate destiny to be Christ-like, which he calls our universal destiny and acknowledges is our ultimate purpose in life. But he goes further by identifying our other destiny is unique to each of us: to be unlike anyone who has ever lived. God created us to be someone unique and to do what only we could do. Mark terms you and me as being "incalculably unique". I like that.

God is at work around us to help us become all He longs for us to be but are we willing to trust Him with everything? David did and so can you! Don't quickly read this book. Allow each chapter to soak in and to be absorbed. If you only get one thing from this book absorb this truth, "God wants you to get where God wants you to go more than you want to get where God wants you to go. So take a deep breath, and enjoy the journey (28)."

"Fearless" Book Trailer by Eric Blehm // Story of SEAL Team SIX Operator...

5 Reasons Pastors Are More Vulnerable to Sexual Temptation

By Jeff Fisher
Let me start off by saying no one is immune to sexual temptation.  It doesn’t matter what your job is, how old you are, or how much time you spend with Jesus each day.  We all have the potential to fall sexually.
Even ministers…and maybe especially ministers.

Ministers have jobs that automatically put them in a pressure cooker.
It’s not unusual to have a stressful job, but there are five unique aspects of a ministry position that make him more vulnerable to opening the door to sexual temptation.

1.  A pastorate is a place of power

Whether the minister is using it or not, he has great influence over others.
The pastor is an authority, he is looked up to, he is on stage, and he is usually highly regarded.  Broken people with damaged lives come regularly to talk with the minister, many of them desperate for a word or attention.

It is not hard for a minister to sway others with their words or personality.  The minister probably doesn’t realize the power he has over others.

2.  Ministers are often isolated and unaccountable for their actions

Ministers spend large amounts of time alone.  Many don’t have a set schedule or a structured day.  They don’t have to clock in and out of work and don’t usually have church leaders asking them accountability questions.

This is especially true for the small church minister who is often the only staff member.  Isolation and lack of accountability are seedbeds for disaster.

3.  Protection and policies around ministers can be lax

Churches rarely have policies requiring accountability software on their computer or mobile phone.  Few or no precautions are taken when the minister is counseling someone of the opposite sex.  And ministers often go on visitation to homes by themselves.
Policies don’t cure bad behavior or a wayward congregant, but they provide an extra boundary that may be a difference maker in a tempting situation.

4.  Ministers have few people they can share their deepest struggles with

It’s hard for a minister to be transparent.  His closest relationships are usually church people, and he doesn’t want to share deeply with parishioners.

Neither does he share his personal or sexual struggles or sexual struggles with other ministers for fear he might lose his job.

5.  Ministers frequently feed off the approval of others

Ministers can be approval addicts.  Their identities can revolve around the attention and comments of others.
A minister’s well-being, if it is unhealthy, rises and falls with every “Good sermon” or “Sister Jones is mad at you.”  Not only are broken church members looking for attention, but so are broken ministers.

Sexual tension in a minister/parishioner relationship is powerful and deadly.  It pushes the button of an approval addict and the needy church member and can quickly lead to disaster.

START THE CONVERSATION, HAVE COURAGE
Unfortunately, we must initiate these conversations with our staff and church leaders.  It’s doubtful a lay leader or denominational leader will get the ball rolling until there is a moral failure.

It takes courage to talk about potential holes in our ministry.  It takes a higher motivation for integrity and sexual purity to draw boundaries, write policies, and set up accountability.

These are points of vulnerability.  They have been fault lines for many ministers before us who have fallen sexually.  We ministers have a high responsibility and are accountable for the souls of many.
We mustn’t be lax in dealing with areas of sexual vulnerability or questioning our staff about them.

Jeff Fisher is a minister, blogger and podcaster from Raleigh, NC. He is a graduate of Southwestern Seminary in Ft. Worth and pastored churches in Texas and New York. Deep recovery began for Jeff when his pornography addiction caused him to lose his ministry position. For the first time, he began discovering the sexual health that God intended for him and for his marriage.